Hush, dear. Easter Bunny has a hangover.

Ran today! Whoo hoo! Week 6, Day 1. I thought it would be easy (the longest stretch was only 8 minutes) but the damn heat nearly killed me. For some ungodly reason I thought it would be reasonable to start my run at high noon, just as it was reaching the upper seventies. Bad idea. I barely made it up the hill on my way home, and to make it worse I spent the 20 minutes immediately following my run in a humid and crowded laundromat so that I would have clean clothes to change into when I got home. Overall a good - if slow - run, and I'm happy to be back on a schedule, even if I had to backtrack a few weeks.

Because of the weather, I opted to wear shorts on my run for the first time (Give me a break, I started in December, okay?). I'm not going to lie I felt a bit self conscious at first and wished I hadn't chosen such a busy road for my run, but after about five minutes I was breathing too hard to give a damn how far my shorts were riding up or how ugly my knees looked. Besides, the busy street provided me with some good Easter site-seeing opportunities. The highlights? A little girl out in the front "yard" hunting for Easter eggs, tripping over one Easter egg, falling on her butt, getting up, and moving on without ever noticing said Easter egg. I also saw a fellow runner sporting a fine pair of fuzzy bunny ears, although I have no idea how he was keeping them on at his pace! By far the most outrageous Easter sighting of today's run, however, was the CREEPY, 6 ft. tall Easter "bunny" dancing about and taking pictures with dozens of small children ... OUTSIDE THE LIQUOR STORE?!?! No worries parents, you can pick up the pictures of your little tykes on Monday and receive a free coupon for your next liquor purchase!

Really?

This is the same liquor store that gives free "sample" shots of their liquor to curious patrons such as myself. That's one way to guarantee customer loyalty! I thought I was sweaty running in the sun, but now I feel for poor dude in the bunny suit. Someone had to draw the short straw..

Anyway, Spring break is now over and it's back to the daily grind for me. Five more weeks of the semester you say? I think I'm gonna puke.

Week 6 Rewind

We ran! It wasn't the best run of my life, but then I didn't have very high expectations so I was quite surprised that we got as far as we did.

Knowing that I have been stressed and feeling guilty about my small laps in running (Almost four weeks!!) Big_Shoes suggested we start today off with a run. The weather was beautiful, but we were both feeling a bit nervous, so we stuck with a familiar trail and decided to just see how far we could go. We ran for about 14 minutes (less than a mile and a half) before I threw in the towel. All in all, I was impressed with how far we did get, but of course it would have been nice to live in the land of no-consequences and be able to run a solid 30 minutes like before.

Even though we ran a reasonable distance (in our eyes) I was surprised at how much different the running felt! My lungs felt sore, my feet started dragging, and I couldn't seem to keep an even pace. Other than lamenting the sun beating down on my brow I did not even look up to notice the beautiful day or any of the interesting people out and about. In other words, it wasn't all that RELAXING. Which is kind of the goal. I will have to work back up to that point, where running is fun and legitimately enjoyable. But for now, I am just happy to have gotten my ass out there.

Since 14 minutes was a struggle (although in hindsight I wonder if it was more a mental struggle than anything) I think it will be best to take a few steps back and restart the C25k program at week 6. This seems like a long way back for me, but it's more important to me that I build a steady appreciation for running than to achieve any particular distance right of the bat. I hope to get my Week 6 Day 1 run in either tomorrow or Sunday, in between reading for classes and writing my Master's thesis.

This is the final stretch for me, in more ways than one, and I want to do it right!

Called out.

So it has come to my attention that several particularly attentive individuals have taken note of my bloggersphere absence – and since THEY were kind enough not to call me onto the carpet harshly, I will have to do the honors.

Why haven’t I been blogging lately?
Simple. I have not been running. Well, that’s not entirely true.I can recall several all-out sprints to catch the bus in recent weeks, but that’s not exactly what we are talking about now is it?I could just take the high road and leave it at that. Admit that I have been slacking off and renew my commitment to finish the C25k program. But that’s not what I’m going to do. Rather, I have prepared a lengthy list of excuses that I hope will mediate some of my own responsibility for recent sedentarism.

1. Mid-Terms.You should have seen this one coming – several of my blogs leading up to my mysterious absence reference my looming exams and research papers and question whether or not I can continue to keep up with my running schedule under the added stress. Well, we have our answer – I could not. Somewhere underneath the stacks of my own research and the 60 exams to-be-graded for my TAship, my running shoes were buried.

2.Visitors. Big_Shoe’s had his favorite man-panion come to visit for a week over St. Patty’s day. After pulling several all-nighters for my mid-terms, I took full advantage of the excuse to get out into the city and play tourist.The sun was out, the air was crisp– but I somehow managed to ignore how perfect the weather would be for running and went to the beach instead.

3.Rain.What was that about gorgeous weather?It is a fickle friend indeed. After said sunshine we received four days of massive rain storms. I’m from Seattle, I can handle my rain. But this was beyond me. Anyone know how to avoid soggy shoes? Is there a rubber sock product out there I don’t know about?

4.Leaky Apartment. By day two of aforementioned rainstorm, my apartment was taking in considerable amounts of water. Note: I live on the second floor of my building. How does this happen?!It was coming in through the brick outside, which apparently has an enormous crack in it. Good to know. The walls were soaked through and massive air-bubbles popped up underneath the surface of the paint.We were mopping and emptying drip buckets every hour for two days, After the rain subsided, maintenance came in, threw some spackle on the walls, and told me we were good. I gave them the side-eye but won’t be able to test their handy work until the next storm (which is currently underway...)

That’s all I got right now, but I will be sure to update the list as more come to mind. Excuses are important, especially for a procrastinator like myself. You know what else is important? Mental health. And if there is anything I have noticed since stopping my running schedule it has been that I feel more stressed out, more overwhelmed, and less happy. It is difficult to wake up in the morning that I know is going to be a hard day and feel like going running.Even more difficult to come home at the end of that long day and tie on my running shoes.And at least right now, it feels like these hard days are not few and far between, but every day.I mean, it’s my university’s spring break this week and I am still worried about how I am going to get through the week, never mind get ahead. The good thing is, I can see an end in sight: August 15 the day I finish my degree and set off on my cross-country road trip.And while I do believe I will somehow get everything done between now and then, I am not sure that my mental health will make it through intact.The only solution to this, for me, is to recommit myself to running (and blogging!) for my own sake.30 minutes a day, plus 10 or 15 to blog and track my miles, is really not that much, and if it helps me to feel better about myself, more confident in my abilities, and more balanced in my life, than it seems like an investment that I can’t afford to pass up. Even if in every other part of my life I am accountable to someone else, I can at least be accountable to myself in this.

So what’s the plan then? That’s where it gets tricky. I honestly have no idea. At the moment, it is pouring down rain and it looks like it will continue for at least three days. I feel buried under a never-ending pile of books and articles, papers, assignments, grading and even when I dig myself out enough to look around all I see is a messy apartment and a looming list of deadlines. I honestly can’t say I will run tomorrow. Or even the next day. But I do want to get back on track this week.I am thinking that I will just get out there, set my timer, and just see how far I get.Depending on how long I can run, I will know how many weeks I need to repeat to get back on track to run my first 5k by this spring.Even if I am back at square one, I’ll be happy to have something that I am doing for myself that makes me feel good for a change.

So uh... give me another shot, okay? I promise to make it up to you!

Oh snap..

I've decided I need a camera. I read all of these blogs with great pictures and they are so much more FUN to read than my big ole blocks of text. Besides, how do you know I am running at all? I might just be blogging fictitiously in between Big Macs while I sit around in my underwear. I had a camera - admittedly it was 4 years old and already on its last legs - but it pooped out on me last Christmas. I'll have to get one before our cross-country road trip this summer. Just haven't figured out how..

Well even though I can't prove it, I did in fact run today. My longest run to date - in time and distance. I had heard through the Facebook grape-vine that a really good friend from back in the day just had a baby, so I decided to give my run a purpose. You see, Big_Shoes works at this wonderful little baby boutique called Magic Beans and since we obviously don't have much need for his 30% discount at this point in our lives, I'd never gotten around to checking it out.

After checking the route and distance and trying to convince myself I could run for 28 minutes straight, I took off. My legs were a bit stiff at first, and for a few minutes I felt an ache in the front of my left shin, but it seemed fade. My mental endurance seemed to come in waves. I'd start to get tired and think about slowing down but then I would reach the end of a leg and get a second wind. And a third wind. And a fourth wind. Eventually, I saw a big green building in front of me and knew I had made it. I pulled out my cell phone and saw my timer hit 28 minutes even just as I was slowing to a stop in front of the Magic Beans entry. Total Distance: 2.8 miles.

After Big_Shoes spent about 40 minutes showing me around and explaining how things work (I had no idea babies required so many accessories!!) I finally picked out an adorable soy-cloth onesie, a natural wood infant toy, and my favorite book of all time: The Giving Tree, by Shell Silverstein, which came with a free Book-on-Disc. Hopefully New Mama will enjoy, but either way I had a lot of fun picking it out! By the time I checked out and had everything gift-wrapped (for free!) Big_Shoes was clocking out and we took the bus home together.

All in all, a fun and productive Sunday. But I still have a ton of research and reading to do tonight if I'm going to make it through this week!

Adventures as a Public Nuisance

Okay. I'll fess up. I've been a slacker. Sure, I could cite the days of pouring, miserable rain and hectic scheduling but we all know those would just be excuses to help myself feel better about my five-day hiatus. As a girl who was born and raised in Washington state, you'd think I'd be less of a pansy about running in the rain, but no. Maybe if I had some water-proof gear... Running in squishy shoes and soggy socks isn't fun for anyone.

Even though the weekend weather forecast wasn't looking much dryer, I promised myself I would get back on track, rain or shine. Somehow that promise managed to slip my mind after one too many screw-drivers on Friday night (did I mention it was a long week?). It's no surprise then that I woke up this "morning" mildly dehydrated with a well-deserved hangover. Running was the last thing on my mind.

But after three hours, two Aleve, four big glasses of water and choking down a few scrambled eggs I had begun to feel slightly less nauseated. With the daylight hours ticking by and snow flakes starting to fall, I realized that "slightly less nauseated" was probably as good as it was going to get. So I stumbled into my running clothes and wandered half-halfheartedly into the snow.

Just a couple minutes into my run a creepy man started running up behind me. I gave him a few quick side glances and picked up my pace to avoid him, but he started running even faster to catch up with me. Turns out creepy guy was, in fact, my very own Big_Shoes who had apparently decided at the last minute to join me on my run. I have a feeling he was a bit worried about my mental/physical state and thought he should keep an eye on me. That was probably a good idea.

Ten or twelve minutes into the run I noticed I started to feel a bit ... funny. At first I wondered if I had stumbled on to some new kind of runner's high or something, but then it finally occurred to me that I wasn't high ... I was DRUNK! Yes, thats right, DE-RRUNK. In PUHB-LIK. I'm no doctor, but my best explanation would be that the increase in blood pressure probably caused a quick and sudden circulation of the small amount of alcohol that was left in my body. Luckily, there wasn't much left in my system so after slowing to a walk for a few minutes the feeling past and we were able to keep running.

Even after I redeemed myself, it wasn't the best run in the world. It was snowing pretty good and our clothes were soaked. I definitely did not get in 28 minutes of consecutive running that the C25K program requires, but I did accomplish much more than sitting in the dark on my couch all day, which is my usual strategy nursing a hangover. And it inspired me to get back on track and give it another (sober) go tomorrow.

Yeah so anyway. Full steam ahead.

Elusive Equilibrium

Three runs down, one more to go before I give myself a much needed day of reprieve. I finished my long Week 6 run today, and surprisingly I found it easier than the Day 2 run I did yesterday with Big_Shoes. Something about stopping for three minutes in the middle really messed up my tempo, and Big_Shoes had to really push me to finish the second 10 minutes. Today, I ran 25 minutes (2.69 miles) by myself with no problem.

Part of the difference, I think, was that I just truly needed my run today. For myself. I woke up this morning to a pile of emails that included several from my boss. I had made an error on the website for work, and although it was a simple misunderstanding on my part, it apparently caused a lot of commotion. After reading the emails, realizing my mistake, and knowing there was nothing I could do from home on a Sunday, I felt a surge of panic. I have never been one to carry around a lot of anxiety, but since starting my Master's program (in a new city, 3,000 miles away) these little private moments of panic have seemed much more frequent. There are a lot of people putting their eggs in my basket. And then every so often it hits me that I have more on my plate than I can possibly accomplish and rather than just concentrating on checking one thing off my list at a time, like I would normally do, I just seem to become paralyzed with fear and guilt. These periods of stagnation - sometimes minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days - only exasperate the problem. In the last couple of weeks, the side-affect of all of this (besides an ever-growing pile of things to do) has been the return of stress-induced headaches that I have always been prone to but have been under control for the past three years.

So you see, I really needed this run. Running didn't do the dishes, write my paper, fix the website, or get me back in my boss's good graces. but it did give me a chance to breathe. And dammit, that's important too, right? I find that I am constantly trying to find this mythical balance between who I am, who I want to be, and who I am supposed to be, but balance - like happiness - is not an achievement, it is a moment in time. And whatever is perfectly balanced, will always come unbalanced again. I just need to convince my inner self that that. is. okay. The world will not end if I let one ball drop. Or three. Or four.

Running is, by far, the most selfish thing that I do at this moment, and I really do believe that everyone should be truly, unabashedly selfish for at least a few minutes in every day. I used to paint, and I loved it. I could follow whatever whim I felt like following and I didn't have to end up at any predetermined outcome. It was purely and luxuriously selfish. But I have not had the space, time, or funds to paint in a long time. Running is the closest I have come to regaining my sense of self that I have when painting. The equilibrium that is so elusive in life is so easy to find out on that bike trail. For a few minutes, everything seems perfectly simple, and there is only one direction to go and only one way to get there. And even when I go home, and back to my fears and problems, even the chaos that is my inbox is somehow less intimidating, and I can suddenly handle not having everything under control. Of course, this too is only a moment in time, not a permanent, achieved state. All the more reason to go running again tomorrow.

Four in a Row and a Pouch to Go

So since I have yet to save up enough money to get fitted for running shoes, I decided to reward myself with the next best thing: One of these!

I found this pouch on Tall Mom's blog, who just happens to be doing an awesome giveaway featuring this and a few other awesome products. Alas, I am too lazy to jump through the hoops to win hers, so I went and bought my own. Being the fiscally conscious individual that I am, of course, I Googled to find a coupon code for $1.00 off, (I do this for EVERYTHING, by the way) which brought my grand total to $5.48, including shipping. A bit of a splurge, perhaps, but I'm tired of trying to store my house key and bus pass in my bra, glove, or the bottom of my shoe. Compared to these sweaty alternatives, the Shoe Pouch will be much more safe and SANITARY.


You'd think that since I have enough time to surf the bloggosphere for cool gear that I can convince myself I need, that I would find more time to run on my week off. Not the case. Well, the time was there, I guess. But everything else managed to get in the way. On Monday I had one of those nasty hangovers that drag on all day. My head was killing me and I was pretty dehydrated so I decided to wait it out and hold off on my run. Perfectly acceptable, I tell myself. I'll definitely run tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes, and I wake up, put my running clothes on, tie my shoes, and then notice that within the ten minutes it took me to do those things it has begun to snow pretty hard. A storm was in the forecast but I decide to go out anyway and hope to beat it. How much snow could possibly fall in the 30 minutes it takes me to run anyway?

A lot.

Five minutes in and I could barely see in front of me, the sidewalks were covered and my feet were soaked. Miserable and grouchy, I looped back and jogged home. The entire outing was about ten minutes. Barely enough to get my blood pumping in those temperatures.

Fast forward to today - the sun was shining and the sidewalks had finally cleared enough for me to get my Week 6, Run 1 in. It was a good run, but my legs felt excruciatingly slow. I attribute that to the six-days of laziness/bad weather that kept me sitting on my ass for most of a week and skipping breakfast this morning. To get back on track (and get the most out of my last few days "off") I plan to run tomorrow and Sunday as well. Which basically means I'll be squeezing Week 6 into three days, and starting Week 7 on Monday. Much more intense than any running schedule I've been doing thus far.

This little plan of mine could go one of two ways. In the first scenario, I enjoy all four runs, improve my time, and get back on track with my regular running schedule. In the second, I get completely burnt out from running, have the worst W6D3 run of my life, and skip out on the fourth day, putting myself even farther behind schedule. Only one way to find out - I'll check back in Sunday to let you know how it goes. Assuming, of course, I can make it to my computer at that point.

Post-Run Rewind

Week 5 is officially behind me. Even more exciting, however, is that I can now say, for the first time in my life, that I have ran over 2 miles, without stopping. One more "mile"-stone to go before I'll be running in my first 5k. My pace averages out to 11:00, which I perceive to be excruciatingly slow. But for the moment I am determined to bask in the glow of finishing, and resolve to worry about my time later on.

Here's a play-by-play of yesterday's run for the folks following along at home:

30 minutes pre-run: Mmm.. Big_Shoes made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Maybe not the best energy source for a run, but too gooey and delicious to pass up..

10 minutes pre-run: Instead of getting my running shoes on, I plop down on the couch to snuggle with Big_Shoes. Being the romantic guy he is, he pushes me away and tells me to quit procrastinating and get my ass out the door. Then he adds a quick "Good luck, babe! I know you can do this!" just to soften the blow.

1 minute in: walking down my street, trying to look nonchalant and ignoring the butterflies in my stomach (unclear if said butterflies were the results of nervous energy or lingering remnants from that morning's slight hangover).

3 minutes in: Set alarm on phone to go off in exactly 22 minutes. Not that I was going to just lose track of time and run longer than I planned. Extremely unlikely. No, I set the alarm so that I wouldn't be as tempted to check the time constantly, which always seems to make the minutes tick by slower.

5 minutes in: Walking warm-up over. Took a deep breath and got going before I had a chance to think too much about it.

7 minutes in: Beginnings of a side-stitch. After making a brief mental note of the bad omen just 2 minutes into my run, I concentrate on taking deep regular breaths and keep going.

13 minutes in: At this point, I had been running for 8 minutes - which was previously my longest stretch. I still felt good, but I had the sneaking suspicion that it was all down-hill from there (Unfortunately, this meant down hill in a figurative sense, not a literal one).

15 minutes in: Ten minutes to go, and it feels like a lifetime. At this point I realize that I am not going to make it the full 20 minutes. Instead, I settle on seeing just how long I CAN go. Every minute is a tiny success.

19 minutes in: A can hear the even-paced footsteps and calm breathing of a "real" runner coming up behind me. Not to be outdone, I pick up my feet, lengthen my stride and pretend like I know what I'm doing. "Oh, this little run? It's nothing. I'm just out enjoying the scenery and freezing cold temperatures. Did I mention my lungs are so not burning right now?"

19 minutes and 15 seconds in: Outdone. The real runner whizzes by me in a neon yellow jacket. I quickly revise my plan and create a new goal to make sure I keep Real Runner in my "line of sight" .

22 minutes in: Despite my best efforts, Real Runner soon becomes a tiny yellow speck disappearing over the horizon. Feeling discouraged, but after checking my time I decide there is no way in hell I am stopping with 3 puny minutes to go. I smile because at this point I know I've already done it. I can do three minutes. In fact, I don't even notice those minutes go by.

24 minutes and 49 seconds in: Doubting my resolve, I go for my cell phone to check the time. It can't be that much longer, can it?? Just as I go to look at the screen I hear the happy little jingle of my alarm. Victory bells. My lungs thank me as I slow to a walk and head toward the train station.


And now I'm off to the drug store to find an over-priced, cheesy card for my valentine. Looking forward to buying some ridiculously discounted chocolate tomorrow!

Let hibernation-mode commence!

It didn't look good when I crawled out of bed this morning. The blue emergency snow lights about town were already blinking and weather.com somewhat ambiguously declared that there was a high possibility that there might be some snow within the next hour. After that, the hour-by-hour table pictures cute little snow flakes for the rest of the day (and night). I knew a storm was on its way, but from my apartment windows it didn't seem all that intimidating. Just a handful of flurries here and there. So I decided to give it a go while the option was still there. And I'm glad I did!

I got in the full run, plus an extra 15 minute walk, just for kicks (okay.. fine. I got lost again and had to wander my way home). The first eight minutes was surprisingly easy, and I was thrilled at my progress until I hit the next 8 minute stretch, which had me considering turning back about 45 seconds in. Miraculously, I got through the whole run no worse for wear, although the snow was beginning to come down a bit more noticeably by then.

Fast forward six hours later and the snow is coming down in horizontal sheets outside of my window. No, wait - I stand corrected, the snow is actually falling UP now. These aren't the cute, friendly flakes they show on weather.com either. More like the vicious, slap-you-in-the-face and take-an-eye-out variety. Looks like it's going to be a doozy, but that's fine with me. I got my run in, we have plenty of hot cocoa (although I may need to make a trip out for some peppermint schnapps), heat is included in the rent, and groceries are being delivered this weekend. Did I mention I also have all of next week off, for some unfathomable reason? Seems like classes just started, but I'm not one to complain. So bring on the snow. I'm already hyperventilating a bit about my next 20-minute run (what C25K guru thought it would be a good idea to go from 8 minutes to 20!?) so I could probably use a few days to mull it over and try to talk myself into it.

Anyway, it's Wednesday, which means I've got to go make sure I have everything to make up a delicious batch of blueberry banana waffles! It's okay to be jealous. Really.

When "Just Do it" just ain't doing it for you

Great run today. Week 5 is off to a good start. The sun shining in through my window convinced me to go without a jacket, just a T-shirt, light sweatshirt, leggings, gloves and my fleece headband. I regretted my decision for the first ten minutes, but then warmed up so much I was thankful I didn't have any other layers to sweat through. The program called for three 5 minute runs, with three minute intervals of walking, but I surprised myself and actually added a fourth run, in the interest of getting home early enough to take a nice long shower.

All in all, it was a fantastic and energizing run - but it almost didn't happen. I almost convinced myself to stay inside and avoid the freezing temperatures all together. I had plenty of reading to do, and a number of other plausible excuses that could have allowed me to stay holed up in my apartment guilt free, until my 1:40 class. Obviously, there must have been some serious source of motivation that got me out the door; some mantra that I repeated over and over to fight back the inherent laziness and just make me WANT to run. Right?

Nope. Didn't happen.

So what's my secret then? Well here it is. Write it down: Procrastination. In other words, I just kept putting off the decision not to run until I found myself dressed, out the door, and half way through my five-minute warm-up walk. Rather than berating or negotiating with myself every time the thought of skipping a run enters my head, I just put the thought to the side and tell myself I'll think about it later. See, I know myself, and the one thing that I've learned is that I just cannot win an argument with myself (Big_Shoes has yet to come to this realization, but he will get there). No amount of logic or inspirational quotes or personal pep-talks is going to work if I don't want to go, so I've stopped trying. I just put the decision off until I am literally at the very moment where I must either run, or turn around and go home. At that point, my ego usually takes over and demands that my ass get going, lest some mysterious onlooker realize that I was only outside of my apartment for 30 seconds before heading back with my tail between my legs. I'd say this works about 87 percent of the time. But in the 13 percent where I legitimately still do not want to run, I turn around and go home. It's that easy.

I think I do the same thing on my runs, when I look down at my cell phone and realize what felt like 7 minutes of running has, in fact, only been two. I don't eliminate the possibility of stopping early, but I don't make an immediate decision either. I just temporarily store it on my mental "To Do" list and keep going. Again, 87 percent of the time, by the time I get back to it, another 2 minutes has already passed and it just makes sense to keep going.

Procrastination gets a bad rap in general, and particularly in the exercise/healthy living community. But hey, for those of us who are natural procrastinators, the infamously annoying "Just Do It" catch phrase isn't going to cut it. So why not flip the negative connotation of procrastination on its head and turn it into a resourceful strategy? I mean, hey, it has worked pretty well for every term paper I have ever written (or, at least 87 percent of them...) and I pull damn decent grades, while simultaneously mastering the life skill of pulling an all-nighter. In all seriousness, at the very least my procrastination habit has taught me to work extremely well under pressure. So where's the harm?

Don't knock it til you've tried it, folks. Procrastination can be a beautiful thing.

Have it my way, you say?

My. ass. hurts. so. bad.

I have no idea why, I haven't added any new hills or anything. So what gives? Maybe its the feeling of my newly-awakened ass muscles fighting back against gravitational forces ... and the brownies I made the other night. Let's hope so. Anyway, let's put that topic "behind" us for a moment (hehehe... I really could not help myself).

Week four is complete and the infamous week five is officially underway. While I'm happy to know that I am half way through the program and towards my first running-related goal, the thought of Week five makes me want to hide under my covers and pretend like I've never owned a pair of running shoes in my life. For one, each day in Week 5 is a new workout, which means I won't even have a chance to get slip into my oh-so-familiar comfort zone. Add on top of that a final workout that includes 20 minutes of non-stop running, and the self-doubt really starts to creep in. Luckily I have a couple days to let that really sink in before I give it my best go.

Today's final Week 4 run ended up being surprisingly entertaining. Big_Shoes joined me, and since we had spent the entire morning cleaning our apartment, we decided to make our run to Target to pick up a new three-basket laundry hamper and some other essentials. The run was great, although frigid and a bit shorter than I would have liked. I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to track routes that are at least 3.5 miles or so in order to get the full run in, so I guess I need to scout out some places to go that are a bit off my beaten track. Can I just say that is has literally been MONTHS since I have been in a chain store that did not sell just groceries? It was a total culture shock. I wanted everything. Yes, everything. I had almost forgotten what that feels like. Luckily for my bank account we managed to check out with a total of four items, despite wandering around all googly eyed for over and hour.

So after our exciting excursion, both of our stomachs are grumbling, and where do we decide to go for lunch? Burger King. Yes, I said it - Burger King. Big_Shoes keeps insisting that my eating habits are depriving him of his beloved dead cow flesh, and we hadn't eaten fast food for several months (September or so?) so I let him "have it his way", if you will. Strangest thing, while sitting in the ridiculously crowded restaurant, we actually met a family from our home state, and the father had actually gone to school at our Alma Mater (we were wearing matching sweatshirts), and grew up just blocks from where we had lived! This coincidence becomes bizarre when you consider that said Burger King is 3,000 miles away from our respective home towns. Small world, much? Anyway, with stomachs full and merchandise in hand, we decided to take the bus home. To make up for my short run and warm myself up while waiting for the bus, I took a quick run around the block while Big_Shoes dutifully waited with our bags.

Enough of that. Let's get back to talking about my ass. Or asses in general, perhaps? I had the unfortunate occasion to stumble on to a blog post that discussed the issue of... well... pooing while running. Considering my intestinal challenges last week, I thought the post might be relevant, so I decided to read on. Come to find out, it is common running knowledge that many long-distant runners pee/poop themselves on the run during races? In order to not loose the 60-seconds or so it would take to make it to the nearest HoneyBucket? Okay, I admit my tiny successes with the C25K program have placed a few vague dreams of future marathon races in my head, but this little "nugget" of knowledge reminds me that I am just not that committed. I'd take the minute or two hit on my time long before I'd run with a squishy accident sloshing around in my Depends.

Just more profound proof that I am not the "true" runner. Then again, if pooing my pants is a requirement for such distinction, I'll glady claim my poser title.

Defeat: a feat in of itself

The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated. It is finished when it surrenders." - Ben Stein

My success last weekend has been tempered by a particularly dreadful run today. It took everything I had just to get out of my apartment - a full hour late. First I had to respond to a series of frantic emails in my inbox, then I couldn't find my key, and the moment I finally was ready to go, my cat decided to knock down a pitcher of water across the living room floor. A lovely start, to be sure ...

Even though I was running seriously behind schedule, I decided to try and get my full run in anyway. This had less to do with inner determination and personal motivation and more to do with the two checks I had in my pocket that desperately needed to be deposited. So I took off in the direction of my bank. Little did I know that the slight intestinal grumblings of my stomach this morning would have major implications for my run. By the time I had gotten to the bank I was seriously uncomfortable. But with my only other option being a trip to the sketchy public subway restrooms, I decided to just run home. Easier said then done. For some reason, I could not for the life of me find the route I took to get home! I wandered around for 20 minutes before stumbling across the obscure side road that had been my route. I've always been skeptical of the constant influx of new gadgets and high-tech devices that promote dependency and rampant consumerism, but at that moment I really wanted one of those GPS "aps" on my cell phone. Alas, all my flimsy phone is capable of is telling time and making phone calls...

Anyway, now running an hour and half behind, with my pace seriously impaired due to stomach cramps and completely drained of all my artificially optimistic standbys, all I was thinking about was how defeated I felt. It didn't help that by the time I got home, I was in such a rush to shower and get ready for my TAship that I missed my bus and ended up walking the entire way in less-than-ideal walking shoes.

By the time I got home at 4:30, I felt entirely defeated by the misfortune of my day. It wasn't until about 20 minutes or so into my pity party that I started to realize that even though my day felt defeating, I had not actually been defeated. I had, in fact, finished my run. I even added an extra mile and a half by walking to campus. And even though the day did not play out like I had so carefully planned it in my head, I still accomplished every task that I had set out to do. Even as my mind was ready to give up on today, my body just kept going, reminding me once again that my limbs and my lungs are far more powerful than my conscious mind gives them credit for. What felt to me like defeat and hopelessness, was actually strength and endurance. Funny how it is so easy to confuse the two categories. So perhaps instead of lamenting my own bad luck, I can learn to use this "crappy day" to appreciate my own body's capacity to reach beyond my own goals and find something more meaningful than I could have thought to imagine. Who knows? Maybe four miles of running/walking discomfort today will eventually give me the strength I need to finish the first mile of my first 5k, or someday even that last mile of a marathon. Someday.

The high you can't get from your cousin's brownies..

SUCCESS! Huge, heaping piles of it!

My first week four run is complete - my longest and most difficult run to date. And I loved every minute of it. I'll admit, I was feeling pretty anxious about it this morning, and even secretly hoped for some ominous snow clouds to appear so that I could stay bundled up in bed, guilt-free. But despite temperatures barely reaching 20 degrees, the skies were blue and clear and by mid afternoon the wind had cooled down as well. So, fresh out of good excuses, I mapped a new run that I have been wanting to try on dailymile and headed for the door.

After being caught unprepared in ridiculously low temperatures two days in a row, I was determined to be as prepared as possible. I wore a jogging tank top, a sweatshirt, and an insulated wind-breaker with leggings and long pants. I also borrowed a thick beanie from Big_Shoes and picked up a pair of gloves for $1.00 at the Salvation Army on my way (I lost the left glove to my other pair on the bus yesterday). In the end, I stayed just warm enough to keep the circulation going, without getting too warm or burdened down with bulky clothes. I can see why people shell out the bucks for special sweat-wicking material though, and if I had the money you can bet I would be investing in some, particularly as my runs get longer and.. well.. sweatier. I had to peel of the layers when I got home.

But let's get back to the run itself. As I moved on to Week 4, I knew I needed a longer route, something that would keep me more focused than just running circles around the neighborhood blocks. When I tracked my run, I was worried it was a bit ambitious for the weather and my first workout at a new week, but I figured I would just turn back early if I couldn't do it. Not only did I not turn back, but I made it to my destination (a train station in the next town) with perfect timing, just as I was finishing the last running segment of the workout. I took the subway back, hoping I could catch the bus home, but when I realized the bus did not come for another hour, it just made more sense to run home as well (It was WAY too cold to walk).

In total, I ran/walked 4.07 miles, and although the last five minutes were the toughest part of the program I have faced so far, I still felt amazing! Maybe this is the elusive "running high" I have been hearing so much about. Or maybe it just feels great to see progress happen, and know that my body is stronger and healthier and more comfortable in its own skin. I can hardly even remember the person who was out of breath with a horrible side-ache after a ten minute trip around the corner. Maybe someday, when 4 mile runs are about as challenging as a hangnail, I will look back and try to remember who I was now.

So now I am off to take the longest, hottest shower of my life (did I mention heat and hot water is included in our rent?) and spend the rest of my night snuggled up in doors and drinking my hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps. Mmmm.. Schnapps. Somehow, a lazy evening at home seems way more enticing now that I know I have earned it.

Battle Scars

I finally got my last Week 3 run in, and I was surprised at how easy it had become - even after missing a few days. In the interest of keeping it challenging, I am planning on moving to Week 4 this weekend, even though the butterflies in my stomach would prefer to hang out in my comfort zone.

Not that putting one foot in front of the other doesn't have its own challenges. As I type, I proudly display my very first battle scar in the form of a quarter-sized scrape on my knee. For over a month I have been running in snow and ice, and the one day we get blue skies and sunshine, I manage to fall on my face. Luckily for me, I was wearing gloves and leggings that softened the blow from the rough concrete. Even luckier, no one was around to see me trip over my own feet. The whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion, and by the time I picked myself up I was laughing rather loudly (again, thankfully their were no witnesses to my clumsiness). I don't know what I found funny, but I do know that I can't even REMEMBER the last time I scraped my knee. Probably hasn't happened since I was at least eleven or so (around the age where the Big Toy brings more embarrassment than adventure), so the whole thing was just exciting for some inexplicable reason.

After my near-death experience, I realized that the same day-dreaming that had caused me to trip over a crack in the sidewalk had also caused me to get pretty well lost (yes, it is possible to get lost in your own neighborhood, thank you). Getting back on familiar ground tacked on another 10-15 minutes on my normal run, so it ended up being a pretty exerting work out, which is good because it has to last me awhile. I won't have the opportunity to run (or blog) until Saturday, thanks to a ridiculous class schedule, a growing stack of thesis research, and the obligations of three part-time jobs. It seems as though I am either doing absolutely nothing, or everything at once, and I haven't quite figured out how to balance that. Maybe running will help me find that balance.

Don't rain on my parade ...

The good news: The streets are officially clear of ice and snow! The bad news? It's been pouring down rain for the past three days. Wind, hail, the whole bit. I've been waiting it out in my apartment thus far, but I'm beginning to think that I will just have to suck it up and get used to running in soggy shoes. I have already missed two scheduled runs, and I suspect that I will need to extend Week 3 by a run or two just to feel prepared for Week 4.

I did not sign up to "become" a runner expecting 365 days of sunshine and delicate breezes. But it's so HARD to get myself out there in this mess! I don't have class until 1:00 tomorrow, so I hope to get in today's run then. No, let me try that again: I WILL get my run in tomorrow. Rain or shine, but can we pretty please have shine?

Did someone say "Pancakes"?

I did my second Week 3 workout today, running home from the university where I am doing my TAship (which is, oddly, different from the university I actually attend). This Week 3 run felt much easier than the first - running for three minutes blocks really wasn't too difficult, even uphill! Between my five courses and three part-time jobs, I probably won't get around to my third run until this Saturday - so I'm hoping to make it a good one. I'd like to find a nice park or a new neighborhood, something just a bit more interesting than usual that will get me excited.

I've noticed that the last couple times I've ran, my ankles feel a bit sore for the first minute or so, and then seem to feel better as I keep going. I wouldn't describe it as actual pain, more like uncomfortable stiffness. It doesn't both me at all when I'm not running, so I think I'll just keep an eye on it. I am hoping that it is not a problem with my shoes because I really can't afford to get fitted for fancy new shoes right now. I was hoping to get by until spring for that.

Anyway, with my run out of the way, I can start looking forward to Pancake Wednesday! Every week, Big_Shoes and I trade off on who makes pancakes. When we remember to wake up a bit earlier, we do it for breakfast, but 80% of the time it ends up being dinner . You'd think pancakes every week would get old quickly, but we like to be pretty experimental with our pancakes and we never have the same kind in any month. We are always hunting down an interesting recipe or just coming up with new ways to use what is on hand in the fridge. Last week I made some delicious latkes (potato pancakes), and I don't know what he's up to this week but he seems to have a plan. I need to start preparing for next Wednesday so if you have any good recipes you're hiding, let me know! (Psss.. they don't have to be healthy!)

WorkoutFAIL.

So there was a random blizzard last night. Winds kept me up all night, and when I woke up the streets (and sidewalks) were covered in slush and snow. Just as I was trying to decide whether or not I should brave the weather for a run it started to snow again. That was enough of a sign for me.

After trying a Pilates video last night (and I discovering that I'm about as flexible as a pretzel stick) I decided to try to find some kind of cardio on my Netflix Instant Queue. The best I could do were a few different "dance" mixes. Apparently the word "dance" is used very broadly. These people looked ridiculous (as did I, to any peeping neighbors who may have witnessed my half-hearted attempt). I just couldn't get into it, and finally stopped about 10 minutes in.

Screw that, I thought. I can dance. I don't need a bunch of cheerleaders in matching spandex showing me how. So I created an upbeat, hip-hop-ish station on Pandora (Norah Jones just wasn't going to cut it), closed the blinds, and danced! It was fun... for all of two songs. And then I suddenly started hacking up a lung. I think all of the flem and congestion from my head cold is just now getting around to coughing itself up. Sorry if you're lunch ended up on your keyboard there ...

Anyway. I think the extent of my cardio for the rest of today will involve cleaning my apartment. The insanity that is graduate school starts up again tomorrow, and I'm actually looking forward to starting classes. I am pretty sure my brain has gone to mush in the six weeks I've been sitting at home ignoring adult responsibilities; I can hear it sloshing around in there when I tilt my head. Hmm ... or maybe that is the flem?

Hopefully having a class and work schedule will give me the opportunity to stick to a running schedule as well. Right now, it looks like I'll be running Mondays, Wednesdays, and at least once on the weekends. Those are the days I don't have to commute. I may throw another one in there once I see how the current schedule is working. I really need to find more opportunities to run, because flipping off the TV is getting old.

Oh... and I think I may have some ideas for some running related, long-term relief efforts in Haiti. But more on that when I find out more. Suddenly I'm craving pretzel sticks... must go find some.

New Shoes for Big_Shoes

Have I mentioned how much I actively dislike FedEx? They refuse to drop packages off in our building's entry way like every other delivery service does, and our apartment bell doesn't work, so if we can't spend all day with our heads out the window playing "Spot the Delivery Guy" we don't get our packages. They claim our street is a "high risk" area, and absolutely refuse to leave it unless someone is able to sign for it... EVEN when I sign the box on the delivery notification acknowledging that I release them from liability, and please leave the damn package. Can someone explain this to me? No one at FedEx seems able to.

Anyway, the package we were expecting this time was for Big_Shoes - a college buddy had sent him some zombie video game he's been drooling over for months, and needless to say, he was a bit anxious to get it. Worked out well for me, because I was able to convince him to join me for my first Week 3 run, which just happened to end at the local FedEx center, about 2 miles away.

It wasn't the prettiest run; most of it was spent dodging ice patches and poorly paved sidewalks in a high-traffic industrial hell zone. But it was the longest run I've done to date (just over 2 miles) and I think we followed the Week 3 training schedule pretty well! Package in hand, we rewarded ourselves with a quick lunch and caught a bus most of the way home.

In what is quickly becoming a pattern of behavior, I suggested we drop in to the Salvation Army to see if they had gotten any more waffle irons in. No luck, but we did find Big_Shoes some (almost) new_shoes! We got a great pair of durable snow boots and and a new pair of running shoes for twenty bucks. Both need laces, but they are brand name, his size, in incredible shape, and should last him awhile. This is a huge accomplishment for me because I can almost never convince Big_Shoes to own more than one pair of shoes at any given time. He'd rather pretend not to notice when the shreds of rubber and cloth on his feet cease to resemble his original purchase. Only downside: with two new pairs of size 13s floating around, our apartment is starting to feel a bit smaller..

"Running" Errands

It's official. I now have two weeks of training under my (hopefully?) slimmer belt. Yesterday's run was tough; I still felt a bit congested and it took me awhile to convince myself to go out. When I did, however, I was pleasantly surprised with sunshine and less-than frigid temperatures. My surprise was somewhat diminished when I came across a series of steep hills that I was probably less than prepared for. I ran a full 20 minutes, but I am pretty sure the distance was a bit shorter because of how long it took me to lug myself up those hills. I will be avoiding that route in the future. Hills are not my friend.

After my run, I went to meet a friend downtown and walked the mile and a half home from the bus station to my apartment both ways. So even though my actual "run" was a bit short in distance, I happy to tack almost 3 extra walking miles onto my total distance for the day, totaling just over 4 miles.

If getting off my butt to go run after several sniffley days off wasn't enough to put me in a better mood and back on track, my incredible good fortune today has done the trick. After sleeping in and enjoying delicious homemade egg McMuffins (Thanks Big_Shoes!) I leisurely start skimming through my inbox, and come across my beloved Groupon deal of the day, which just so happened to be two skate passes to the outdoor ice rink, including rentals, for only $10.00. I know I am constantly finding ways to plug Groupon in my posts, but I've been bugging Big_Shoes to strap on some big_skates and take me ice skating for awhile now, and so when the opportunity presented itself I got out my credit card. But much to my surprise, when I went to purchase my Groupon I realized that I still had $10.00 in Groupon credit for referring a friend on my account, so we didn't end up spending a dime. After spamming the hell out of my unfortunate Facebook friends, we were able to get a group together (all of whom got the amazing discount) and now all we need to do is pick a date. So there you have it, three of the four important Fs in my life: Fun, Friends, and Free, all rolled into one. And just for good measure, I'll shamelessly spam my own blog too, just in case anyone is in the mood to check out the holy grail that is collective buying power while providing me with my next $10.00 credit: http://www.groupon.com/r/uu533334

Anyway, after I stopped patting myself on the back for this ingenious freebie, I wandered down to check the mail and found a sparkly new pay check made out to me for a decent chunk of cash. FOR THE JOB I HAVE NOT EVEN STARTED YET. Yes, you heard me right. I just got paid for the Teaching Assistantship I start on Thursday. Basically, I get a predetermined stipend for showing up to class, coming up with a few moderately intelligent things to say, and grading a few papers once every six weeks. Doesn't even matter that classes haven't even started yet. This goes far beyond instant gratification. Preemptive gratification, perhaps?

So how does any of this relate to running? Well, I, of course, needed to get this check in the bank so that I could start spending my future earnings, which made for a great opportunity for a run. I strapped on my shoes, zipped the check and my bus pass safely into my coat pocket and set off for the bank, about a mile and half away. I was hoping to stick to the C25K program and run the full 20 minutes, but I found myself standing in front of my bank in just over 15 minutes (less time than it takes me to get there via public transportation), so after depositing my check and picking up some groceries I made up for the shorter run by lugging the groceries up the stairs on the subway, instead of coasting along on the crowded rush-hour escalators. I am finding that using running as a primary means of transportation is much more rewarding than taking a few repetitive loops around the block. For one, I can't talk myself into stopping early, because I won't get to where I need to go. It also tends to be faster than waiting on the bus (which I guess would be relative to the city that you live in), and I can incorporate my run into the tasks that I'm already doing, instead of trying to tack it on as something completely separate. I guess I'm just less likely to procrastinate on my run if it means three or four other things will not get done either.

So it's on to Week 3, but the big challenge on the horizon is seeing how all of this running business fits into my schedule when classes start and the stress piles on. Stay tuned!

And she's off...

Feeling better today. Throat is still pretty sore, but I can breathe normally again. A friend called me today and asked if I wanted to go out with her to run some errands, and since I've been cooped up in the house with very little human interaction, I decided that I really wanted to go. I also decided that if I felt good enough to venture outside for some shopping, I felt good enough for a run. Still trying to finish up Week 2, and I think I might do one more Week 2 run after this, just to make sure I am back to my normal pace. At least that is what I'm telling myself right now. It may also be that I'm afraid Week 3 is going to be significantly harder and I'm stalling reaching that point. Either way, I am running today and that is the point.

While I run I am going to try to think about the situation in Haiti, and try to figure out what I could do to be of some small help. Not a lot of money in the bank to donate, and I don't exactly speak French well enough to hop on a plane, but I think they are going to need even more help in the coming weeks, months, years as people get tired of the tragedy and it starts to fade from the international headlines. Hopefully that gives me plenty of time to come up with something creative and useful with my limited resources.

Brick Wall #1

I'm SIIICCCKKK (insert screechy whiny voice here). My throat was a bit scratchy after my last run, but within a few hours that quickly turned into a full-blown head cold, complete with plenty of mucus, a sore throat, itchy eyes, a head that feels like it's about to explode. I had no idea my nose could be running and stuffed up at the same time. How does this happen?

It doesn't help that I am the worst sick person ever. I like to play strong, independent woman most days of the week, but once the sniffles start up I turn into a pathetic lump of flannel-wearing snot sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself and penning multiple drafts of my last will and testament, just in case my poor virus-ridden body doesn't pull through.

Did I mention I won't be running today?

So I'm taking Dayquil (now) and Nyquil (later) and really hope that I will be able to get something resembling a run in tomorrow, before the whole idea of running just gets too big and scary to think about again. Even in my slight drug-induced fog I can see some positives here. For one, I would rather be sick now than once my classes start up next week. More importantly though, I know I will run up against many more daunting hurdles than this one on my journey toward becoming a "runner", and if I can get through this little test with my resolve and motivation in tact, I have a somewhat better chance of making it through the other ones coming my way.

For the Love of Links!

"Sit as little as possible. Give no credence to any thought that was not born outdoors while moving about freely." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Today was an off day. No run for me, but I did spend some quality time with the lovely Ms. Ten Minutes. The DVD doesn't have a menu, so instead of trying to fast forward and rewind to particular workouts, I just went straight through and did them all: Thighs, Arms, Buns, Abs, and Stretching. At ten minutes each, the whole thing took just under an hour, but I hardly noticed the time passing. I got smart this time and played music in the background to drown out the high-pitched squeak of the trainers nagg - erh.. I mean encouragement. So it was much more bearable. Although short, the workouts weren't easy; I have a feeling I will wake up sore tomorrow, but I think the extra muscle building will help me on my runs, so its probably worth it. Even more exciting, I've discovered that I've been using Pandora radio for so long now that it now plays a never-ending stream of songs I absolutely love. Singing along to Tracy Chapman's Fast Car made my glutes workout particularly enjoyable.

In other exciting news, I found two new running websites today, and I have no idea how I have been living without them for so long (cough... 12 days). Dailymile.com describes itself as a "social training log" and is pretty much Facebook for runners, as far as I can tell. The amazing thing is that it has an easy-to-use route tracker that allows you to calculate the exact distance, calories and pace of any run in seconds. This is infinitely better than struggling with Googlemaps to track my route, which doesn't allow you to go the "wrong" way on one-way streets or utilize roads without vehicle access (both of which I do regularly). Even better, Dailymile keeps a running tab (ha ha, get it?) of all of my runs, including obvious things like total distance and time and way more interesting things like gallons of gas saved, numbers of TVs powered and, my personal favorite, the exact number of donuts burned (In my past two runs I have burned 3.51 donuts!). It also seems like a great way to connect with other local runners, although I haven't taken advantage of that particular feature yet.

The other handy link I ran across was Mapmyrun.com which, true to its name, also allows you to track your route, although I don't find its system to be as user-friendly as Dailymile, and I noticed a lot more obnoxious pop-up ads. For me, the most exciting thing about this site is the "Search for Runs" feature. I typed in my city and the maximum/minimum mileage I was looking for and got a list of more than 30 runs very close to my apartment, even a few that were an exact 5k distance - which will be very useful when I get to that point. Some are definitely more exciting than others, but all of them include the total distance, a brief description of the terrain, and a detailed map. The site has some other features, but I wasn't as impressed with any of them in the ten minutes I spent skimming the rest of the site. Might still be worth checking out though.

For me, the process of learning about running is just as important as the act of running itself. I love finding new links, tips, and small pieces of motivation. It keeps me from getting bored and gives me even more reasons to keep going. So if you have any links or tips that you use to keep track of your health, fitness, or sanity, please feel free to share, and I will continue to share mine!

Check, please.

Yesterday's little photograph gave me a bit more inspiration than I bargained for. Today was a seriously productive day, and we were able to check many things off our growing list entitled Things-That-Should-Really-Probably-Get-Done-Soon.

This morning, Big_Shoes and I spent some time writing out much-overdo thank you notes to just a couple of the MANY wonderful people in our lives and were even able to deliver them to the mailbox before the post service came and went. That's two boxes checked. Then I got dressed for a run and set off with a bag full of a half dozen or so library books that needed to be returned. Caught the bus and a train to the downtown library, dropped off the books (Check), and then ran home from the train station via my new favorite community path. Another check. I even popped into the drugstore on the way home to pick up some face wash and FINALLY conquered the hill to our apartment. Check, check.

While I was gone, Big_Shoes stayed home and got some serious cleaning done - even scrubbing the infamously stubborn cooked-on grit off of the stove top, which probably deserves an extra check. After getting some quarters from the local laundromat (by pretending to do someone else's laundry) we were even able to do 2 loads of our own laundry in the basement of our apartment complex - which now costs us a ridiculous $3.50/load! That's at least one check for each load.

Now, I'm winding down the night by folding said clothes (which, regrettably, I almost never do) and finishing up some readings for my quickly approaching spring semester. Double check. Of course, all of this is happening to the soundtrack of the lovely Nora Jones playing on Pandora.com with the relaxing hint of gunfire and explosives in the background. (Big_Shoes got a new shoot 'em up video game from GameFly today and ours is a small apartment to say the least). I'm sure I could say something about the value of compromise in cohabitation here, but instead I'll just turn Norah's volume up.

So all in all, that looks like a total of... 12 items checked off of my list, in a single productive but enjoyable Saturday. Oh wait, let's make that 13; looks like I finally got around to updating the blog! Check.

Cleared Paths and Bubble Baths

Hey Look! I have found me a little piece of motivation! Now if only I could get it blown up to 6'x4' dimensions to hang on my ceiling I may actually be inspired to get up and get moving in the morning instead of throwing my alarm across the room and hiding under the covers. Why did I choose this picture as my motivation, you ask? Well, Lucky for you I have made a list for your convenience:

• The sunrise makes me think of new days, and new chances. Doesn't matter what happened yesterday, today is a brand new day!
  

• Oh.. it's a sunset you say? Well then... sunsets make me think of the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have made it through another day. Looking into the distance, you can see just how far you have come, and the road ahead doesn't seem so far.
  

• Hello - It's the open road. What better symbolism could there be for the endless range of possibilities that every day holds. What better way to show that life really does have direction, and you, my friend, are on that path! Only one way to go - forward! So get moving.
  

• It's purty.

• Yes, I'd like to be running on that road. But I'd also like to be driving on it. It makes me think of the cross-country road trip Big_Shoes and I are taking this August. The road trip symbolizes the end of my Master's program, the completion of a major life goal, the reward of adventure, and my first chance to see my family in over a year. Being healthy and energetic for this trip of a lifetime makes me WANT to go out and run, and reminds me of other dreams I am accomplishing.
  

Just looking at it makes me want to go out and run right now. Except not. Because I already got a great run in today. I am officially on the second week of C25K, and I tweaked the program just a little so that I am running for two minutes, walking for two. Not much different from what I was doing before - but it feels good to be making PROGRESS! Big_Shoes had to go into work today for an hour this morning, but we decided that when he was done we would meet in town for lunch at this new restaurant we've been dying to try. Yesterday, I stumbled upon a GREAT little bike path near our apartment that goes straight into town and is kept clear all year round, and meeting for lunch gave me the perfect opportunity to try it out. It was the perfect length/time, I didn't have to worry about ice or traffic, and most importantly, there were plenty of cute PUPPIES to look at!

Once I got into town, I met up with Big_Shoes and we had the most amazing - although ridiculously unhealthy - lunch at an amazing deal, thanks to my new favorite website, Groupon. Each day they offer up a new deal, almost always at least 50 percent off at restaurants, bars, spas, gyms and all sorts of other services for the city you live in. We paid $15.00 for $30.00 worth of food, and I got my coupon emailed to me in a couple hours! Okay, so perhaps it's not "running" or "fitness" related per say, but I have seen some great deals on gym memberships, dancing classes, ski trips etc. so that is how I justify this particular shameless plug. Plus it helps me save up for those new running shoes, right? Yeah..

Anyway, after we gorged ourselves on pulled chicken sandwiches (me) and pig and cow ribs (him) we took the much-needed walk home, and enjoyed the time laughing and joking with each other. We stopped by the Salvation Army on the way home- we were hoping to pick up the waffle maker we've been eying for the past couple weeks but it was gone! - and I found the coolest old bathroom scale, probably from the 70s at least. It was in fine working condition, according to the grimace on my face when I hopped on, so for $3.00 it got to come home with us, along with a nifty 1980's style ear warmer that they threw in for free. So now I will be able to protect my ears from frostbite AND track my progress in a whole new way.

After all of that excitement and productivity (and cholesterol) I can't think of anything better right now than a hot bath and a good book, followed by my first **gasp** OFFICIAL weigh in of 2010.

Dragging my feet

I can feel. my motivation. slipping.

I didn't blog yesterday - which is a good indicator that I didn't run either. I wasn't too worried about it then - the C25K program recommends days off, and I had a ton of research to dig through for my teaching assistantship next semester anyway. But in the back of my mind I was worried that one day off would mean two, and then three. And then my running shoes would get pushed back into the depths of my closet, never to be seen again until January 1, 2011.

That fear is not unfounded. I have a long history of short, energized bursts of physical activity followed by long periods in a relatively comatose state. Still, I usually last longer than a WEEK! So in spite of a lack of energy or motivation, my running shoes are on and I'm getting ready for my last Week 1 workout.

I am finding that I just can't over think it. If I spend too much time thinking about when to run, or where to run, or what to wear while running, I'll just talk myself out of it. Instead, I make this deal with myself: I tell myself that if I get all ready to run and am standing outside ready to go and I STILL don't want to run, I can turn around and go back inside, no questions asked. By the time I'm down there though, it just doesn't make sense not to run, and I almost always end up doing it. Even if I start out feeling pessimistic and grouchy, I always end my run feeling proud, energized, and accomplished.

So that's where I am now. Feeling unmotivated, but hoping that a self-imposed run will help me to beat some of that and start being productive with my day (hmm.. a clean apartment would be nice...). I think I'd eventually like to make a list of ways to motivate myself, and keep it handy for days like today, when my butt would rather park itself on the couch with the laptop than truck its owner up a hill in the name of recreation. Now there's some good thinking material for my run.

Cheesecake Diaries

Great run today. Still icy, but enough clear pavement to make it work. Technically, it was my third workout of the C25K program, but it has not yet been a week ... so I'm stuck with whether I should move on to the second stage or continue with "week one". From all that I read, there is more risk to moving too quickly than taking it too slow, so I think I'll do at least one more run at the stage 1 before moving on. For those who have no idea what I am talking about right now, here is the first three weeks of my running schedule from the Cool Running website that I posted before.

Although while I'm running I consciously focus on envisioning the air in my lungs and the beat of my heart rather than the jiggle of my thighs, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about the physical as well as mental benefits of running. So I'll go ahead and take the hit for being the broken record that reminds you that "exercise is only 50% of a healthy lifestyle". A modest supply of common sense and a few foggymemories from my Nutrition 101 class as an undergrad secured this little pearl of wisdom firmly in my rational, conscious brain. I am very aware that no amount of exercise that I am currently capable of can account for one too many of those late-night trips to the freezer, spoon in hand (We all know it's not the frozen peas I'm after). I just wish someone would tell this to my wholly irrational and subconscious stomach. I'm not a horrible eater. I don't eat any red meat or pork, I RARELY touch fast food, I love vegetables and am a huge fan of whole grains. I also just so happen to love devouring a slice of brownie double fudge cheesecake every now and again (and again, and again).

All of the reading out there - or at least the small slice of it that I have skimmed- suggests food journaling as the best way to get a realistic picture of the caloric and nutrition content of what actually goes into your stomach. But the idea of carrying around a little notepad with a list of every french fry and cheese puff that comes anywhere near my mouth makes me nauseous. See, I tend to misplace things, and call me judgmental but I can't imagine finding something like that and NOT thinking that person had issues. My solution? Online journaling.

For the past year, I've been using FitDay.com on and off (okay, mostly off) to keep track of what I eat. Sometimes you have to find the approximate measurement for something or find the closest related food, but for the most part it sets up a pretty accurate picture of your nutrition intake and ...yes, calorie count (if you're into that sort of thing). I will say that I, for one, refuse to count calories. But that may have more to do with my childhood insecurities about performing simple math than the actual merit of calorie counting itself. Anyway, When I'm using FitDay, I love it! But even though I have fun doing it and it helps keep me on track, I always seem to stop using it after a week or two..

But to hell with it, I'm climbing back on that horse, at least until it bucks me off again. I don't plan on changing my diet drastically or restricting my calories (because that would require counting) but I do think it's important to know what exactly I'm eating. Maybe just knowing will result in subtle, subconscious changes, who knows? So back to food journaling it is, but if anyone out there has any tips for sticking with it this time, I'd love to hear them!

Running off into the sunset...

... is not as romantic as it sounds. I was a slacker today - after sitting around watching made for TV movies, eating a balanced diet of top ramen and leftover stocking candy, and attempting to catchup on my research, I looked at the time and realized it was FOUR O'CLOCK! After confirming that I had not inadvertently missed some obscure daylight savings time (wouldn't be the first time) I kicked myself in the butt, double knotted my running shoes, and hit the pavement in time to see the sun well on it's way to setting behind an urban horizon of brick buildings and telephone poles.

Shit. I don't even have glow-in-the-dark shoe laces.

But I was already out there and I was already freezing my butt off, so I figured at the very least a run might help restore the circulation to my extremities. Even better, maybe I could get hit by a car so that I would have something to blog about when I got home. In the end, it wasn't that eventful. By the time I did the 20 minutes of walking/running intervals, the last bit of daylight was all but gone but I had successfully avoided all oncoming traffic. The patches of compacted snow turning to ice under my feet were more treacherous than the darkness itself.

Being the proactive type that I am, I waited until I got home from this adventure (and had time to thoroughly de-thaw my fingers) to Google safety tips for running in the dark, and found a long list of tips for night time running. Among the many precautions that I failed to take were:

• run against traffic (I know this... but I run on a lot of one way streets! I should get points for avoiding the busy roads though).
  
• wear white, yellow, orange and other bright colors (I went for black and grey).
  
• run with a buddy (well... there was that stray cat that followed me for a few yards).
  
• carry a cell phone (I would have, but I couldn't operate the tiny buttons with gloves on!)
• wear a headlamp/reflective vest (ahh.. now THAT would really complete my ensemble).
  
• stick to a familiar route (I had the bright idea of trying something "new" today).
  
• carry identification (I misplace my license enough as it is, do I really need to stick it in my shoe while I'm jaunting around town?)

Now before you start slapping my wrists, I will say that these all sound like reasonable tips, and (hand over heart) I promise to do my best to follow them the next time I find myself trying to sneak in a run late in the day. That said.. I think I'll stick to day-time running for now, especially in this weather, where a couple of hours can mean the difference between cold toes and numb legs. So I guess that means in the future I will either need to procrastinate less and get it done early in the day or resolve myself to spending many more wonderful evenings in front of the TV with the lovely Ms. Ten Minutes.

... Neither option is particularly appealing at this moment.

I'd Rather be Running...

As predicted, even more snow today. If you're thinking I did not choose the best time of year to "become" a runner, I won't disagree with you. What I really need are a pair of YakTrax so that a quick jog does not amount to a possible threat to my life. Unfortunately, I am unwilling/unable to spend $30.00 plus s/h for a pair, so I'll be without until a sweet deal comes up on craigslist, amazon or ebay.

What started out as a quick run yesterday, soon became a careful walk, and I was determined to find a better solution for today. I considered running the stairs in my apartment a few times, but they are old and creaky, and I didn't feel like ticking off all of my neighbors at once (my neighbors could also be described as old and creaky I suppose). After running in place for all of 15 seconds, with my two cats running in between my feet, I crossed that off my list as well, in part for the safety of my cats but mostly because I felt like a moron.

I finally got the bright idea to search my Netflix instant queue, and sure enough, there are a decent amount of workout videos on there. Note: I said a decent AMOUNT of videos, not that the videos themselves were decent. The best of the mix - and the one I eventually decided on called "10 Minute Solution: Target Toning for Beginners" with some ripped, spunky blond woman on the cover.

From the 5 or so options, I chose to focus on legs and arms, which meant I got to spend 20 lovely minutes with said spunky blond girl. Thought about doing abs, but after looking at the trainers 8-pack, I decided I didn't want to go there. We'll wait for the next snowed-in day for that one. It got the job done - didn't feel like much cardio, but definitely worked the muscles. It may be that I was doing the floor exercises on the hardwood, but my knees started to hurt after a bit (not real pain, just achy), so I guess I'll keep an eye on how they feel. Ten Minute girl was obnoxious, but the time did go by quickly, and I would have done a third session if I could have figured out how to put the subtitles up and mute her voice.

All in all, running was more fun, more fulfilling, and more motivating than rolling around in front of the TV with two cans of kidney beans (What? I don't have hand weights...), so I genuinely hope the weather cooperates tomorrow. Uh oh, Big_Shoes is supposed to be home soon and I promised to start dinner! Better hop to it!